Fic: Every Dawn (for [livejournal.com profile] i_o_r_h_a_e_l)

Aug. 1st, 2007 03:46 pm
[identity profile] remix-puppet.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] a_conspiracy
Title: Every Dawn
Author: [livejournal.com profile] easterlily41482
Characters/Pairings: Frodo/Faramir
Summary: The pain Frodo suffers as he has to face the fact that his lover will marry someone else.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, AU, angst
Word Count: 1433
Author's Notes: First set of lyrics from "Still In Love" by Larry Stewart from Jim Brickman's Visions of Love album. The rest of the lyrics are from "Getting Over You" by Janis Ian from Jim Brickman's Visions of Love album.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the property of the Estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No offense is intended, nor profit made.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Every Early Morning, by [livejournal.com profile] i_o_r_h_a_e_l.


Every Dawn

"Faramir!" Frodo called, curving his eyebrows with worry as he approached Faramir at their familiar spot late that evening. "You are late. I feared you weren't coming."

Faramir looked down at Frodo sadly. "I'm sorry, Frodo. King Aragorn asked to see me. He offered me Ithilien and wants me to rule over the land."

Frodo gasped. "Oh, Faramir, that is wonderful! King Aragorn has given you a very special gift, and I'm sure you will be an excellent ruler," he replied. Then he noticed Faramir's troubled expression. "What's troubling you? Don't you want to be King?"

Faramir took a hold of Frodo's hand. "Sit down, Frodo. There is something I must tell you. I fear it will be as difficult to hear as it will be to say."

Frodo did as Faramir asked though he was not sure what to think. Whatever it was, he was confident that Faramir and he would be able to work it out.

"Frodo, I am going to be marrying Lady Éowyn of Rohan. Please understand that I had no say in the matter, and I didn't find it appropriate to turn down the King's offer."

"I see," Frodo answered, looking away. "When…are you going to…marry?

"In a few weeks," Faramir answered, squeezing Frodo's hand.

Frodo had to be strong. He knew he couldn't show Faramir how upset he was. He decided to give Faramir the best smile he could though inside his heart was beating so fast he felt it might burst. "I am…happy for you, Faramir."

Faramir gazed at the halfling. "Frodo…you do realize what this means…"

"Yes, of course. Do you think I'm stupid? I understand perfectly. You were afraid of what others would think of you if you chose to live with me," Frodo replied angrily.

"Frodo…"

"It's true. You already shamed your father so you couldn't displease King Aragorn, too!" Frodo said, turning. He couldn't face Faramir. Not now; perhaps never again.

"No, Frodo, that's not true!" Faramir answered, placing his hands on Frodo's shaking shoulders.

A small sniff came from the halfling.

"Please…leave," Frodo replied. "I need some time alone."

"All right, but I shall meet you here first thing in the morning," Faramir answered.

 

"When the night turns cold
When the dream grows old
When the world brings this man
To his knees
When my hope is gone
Your faith still stands strong
And you're still in love with me"


 

Very early the next morning, Faramir set off to Frodo's and his spot. Dawn had just broken on the wooded clearing by the Ford of Anduin and the ground was damp with dew on every blade of grass.

Not many were familiar with the spot for it was far from the brick city of Minas Tirith, but Faramir was certain he would find Frodo there. However, he had not forgotten about what had happened the previous night, and he knew deep down Frodo hadn't either.

 

"Tell me what you see in her
That use to be in me
Why is it the simple truths
are hardest to believe
How can I start all over?
Knowing we'll just be friends?"


 

Frodo had spent the entire night crying. It hadn't been too long ago that Faramir and he had agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. In fact Faramir had promised him that as soon as Ithilien was restored, they would go somewhere together where it would be just the two of them. But now that was never going to happen for Faramir had agreed to marry Lady Éowyn of Rohan so they could rule together.

"He doesn't love me anymore," Frodo sobbed to himself, sitting and huddling against the cold with a big tree at his back. He was clad only in his long tunic and breeches. He regretted having left his warm cloak in the palace.

As Faramir approached the halfling, he wondered if Frodo had slept at all, seeing that the hobbit must have been here very early in the morning.

Frodo felt someone watching him, and he quickly curled himself up tighter as the man approached. He knew it could be no one other than Faramir. He wished secretly that it was Aragorn so he could beg him to allow Faramir to rethink his decision. But then he realized that was only selfishness on his part, and somehow he would have to accept that his relationship and life with Faramir had changed.

"It's only fair," Frodo sadly whispered.

Faramir felt a lump in his throat. Tears fell down his face as he dragged himself towards Frodo. "Frodo?"

Frodo slowly turned to face Faramir.

"It's only fair," he repeated with a choked voice. "Fair…that you marry the stunning Lady Éowyn. I'll remain here till your wedding. I shall write Sam a letter and then he and I will go back to the Shire." Tears now slid down Frodo's cheeks. "It just wouldn't do to leave you alone…without someone by your side. I'm sorry for what I said to you last night. I was selfish, and it wouldn't have worked out between us. I would never be able to make you happy like Éowyn can. I cannot even give you children."

"Oh, Frodo," Faramir cried, plummeting to his knees and pulling Frodo up to his feet so their eyes were level. Frodo's eyes hid none of his feelings when they looked into Faramir's. They were red, sad, and blood shot. Frodo had stayed up all night.

"But what about you?" Faramir asked as more tears slipped down his cheeks. He felt guilt ridden. How could he have done this to the one he loved so much? How could he not have thought how this would have affected him in the future? It wasn't all about him, it was about Frodo too! "You deserve to be happy, too! Who will be by your side in the Shire? Who will love you till the end of your days? Who will take care of you when you are in pain or sick?"

"That I do not know," Frodo answered. "Perhaps I'll find someone or maybe I'll always remain a bachelor like my Uncle Bilbo."

Faramir sighed in frustration. "I shouldn't have consented to the proposal made to me by our King and the King of Rohan. I should have…"

"Faramir," Frodo replied. "You spent so much of your time rebuilding Ithilien. It is only right that you rule over that land. What would your subjects think if you ruled beside a hobbit?" He paused and then shook his head. "No, it is only right to have the Lady Éowyn by your side."

Faramir sighed, taking Frodo's small, cold hands in his own. "But I should have fulfilled my word to you. We should have taken flight, you and I, and vanished to some uninhabited land as I said we would after Ithilien had been rebuilt. We could have been together, just the two of us. Forever." He paused. "Frodo, I wish I could change my decision. I've hurt you so much. "

Frodo wiped a tear from Faramir's face. "But you can't change the past, Faramir. You were only doing what you thought at the time was right, and I will not let you guilt yourself any further over this. I would never forgive myself for being so selfish."

Frodo was stopped by Faramir's soft sniffle. "Oh, Frodo, please forgive me!"

"I do, Faramir. No matter what the future may bring, I will always love you."

"And so shall I."

With that, Frodo closed his eyes and gave Faramir a kiss. He didn't know what the future would bring him. He didn't know if he would ever love another again, but he knew that at this very moment, as Faramir rested his forehead against his own, Frodo felt the closest he had ever felt to Faramir. Perhaps it was because he knew he would never see Faramir again; at least, not in this way. And the truth was that he did not want to think about it. Not now, not ever, but he knew that he would have to face it eventually.

 

"After this day is over
How will my dreams go on?
And what will I do with my mornings?
What will I do with my nights?
You want answers that I can't give
You want words I don't know
Ask me when I'm through
Getting over you
Ask me when I'm through
Getting over you."


 

Nonetheless, one thing was for certain – they would always remember this day – every dawn.

Date: 2007-08-02 06:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com
:)

Thank you very much! It's gentle and I like it. It's so sad that Frodo has to lose someone he loves again.

Thank you, author!

Date: 2007-08-08 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harukameko.livejournal.com
Thank you for writing your story in the first place! I actually had originally thought about remixing a different story, to try a pairing I've never done before that is, but this story just caught me. I loved writing argumentative Frodo and Aragorn. But it does make me very sad to know that Frodo had to lose Faramir.

Date: 2007-08-05 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danachan.livejournal.com
Ah, poor Frodo, he keeps losing those he loves. *gives him hugs*

Also, v. nice ending line! (That sort of thing matters to me.)

Date: 2007-08-08 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harukameko.livejournal.com
After all he's been through, this had to be even more devastating. I imagine like what happened in the original story, that Frodo eventually made his decision to go to the Grey Havens because he had lost his Faramir.

Thank you!

Date: 2007-08-05 11:52 pm (UTC)
ext_28878: (Default)
From: [identity profile] claudia603.livejournal.com
Poor Frodo! *sniff*

Date: 2007-08-08 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harukameko.livejournal.com
My heart absolutely broke for Frodo too.

Date: 2007-08-06 01:05 am (UTC)
sophinisba: Gwen looking sexy from Merlin season 2 promo pics (frodo flare by annwyn)
From: [personal profile] sophinisba
I really like the scene you added at the beginning that tells about how they got to this point. Oh, I love me some post-quest angst.

Date: 2007-08-08 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harukameko.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love post-quest angst too, especially when there's a lot of 'drama' and arguments. And thank you so much for the story you wrote for me!

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